House Full o' Toys

[creidylad]

I have a house full of crap.

To be fair, most of it is great crap.

Toys, mostly. We have a lot of toys. More than I know what to do with. Seriously. We are getting new shelves in hopes that we will find places to put all the toys (and books). We are putting some toys in storage and hoping to rotate them on a month-to-month basis.

And yet Gwen's birthday is coming up.

My instinct is to ask people not to give her gifts. Make a donation in her name and give her a lovely card or some crap.

But realistically I know she's really looking forward to unwrapping things.

But how does one tactfully tell people not to give large presents? I think all we can handle are perhaps a few more pieces of dress-up clothes (but NO SHOES) and maybe some doll clothing.

Do I print out a card explaining my plight and include it in the invitation?

Do I just suck it up and figure I'll have to rotate MORE toys?

I can't wait until it is time to give half of them away. They are great, GREAT fabulous toys and both of my girls will love them -- but there are probably inner city blocks with fewer total toys than are crammed into my small living quarters.

*Sigh*

Comments

[zinzinzinnia.livejournal.com]

I rather liked your strategy of storing some that could then be given to Glory "by Gwen" as gifts.

Perhaps some of the ones you have already stored could be wrapped up so Gwen can relish the unwrapping without adding to the clutter.

And despite your wonderful intentions of keeping the ones you already have for Glory at a later date, perhaps you should be ruthlessly selective and get rid of all but the very best, and even then, rotate groups of those very best in and out of storage. (The key word here, by the way, is "ruthless". Sentimentality will not serve you any purpose at all when even the most creative storage solutions have reached their limit. I say this from a place of recent and ruthless experience.)

And I think it's fair to ask people not to give more toys as gifts. The idea of giving a donation on her behalf is one that can easily be included in an invitation. Or, perhaps ask for "disposable" gift items, like art or craft supplies, that you will run through without accumulating more items requiring long-term storage.

Toys that grow with kids, like building toys (Duplo, Lego, Brio, etc.), may be better than ones they quickly outgrow or have enough of already. In my opinion, there is realistically no amount of Lego that could be considered "too much".

[zinzinzinnia.livejournal.com]

Oh, forgot to mention also that many storage problems might also be alleviated by getting rid of MUCH non-kid-related crap.

Ruthlessness is required here, too.

Ruthlessness and a fresh jumbo-sized box of Hefty bags and the realization that just because it fit 10 years ago doesn't mean we should be anticipating wearing it again...

:)

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

I second everything zinzinzinnia said.

[sykotropic.livejournal.com]

Ditto what she said. MB and I have gone through her room once and are about to do it again. The first basically everything was found a space, but now what with the Christmas and the Three Kings presents more space must be found and it can not be the living room. So, she's been "thinking about" which toys go to the poor children.

I also have a plastic tote that I rotated toys into over 6 months ago. She hasn't asked for them. They will be donated to Salvation Army without her even knowing.

I have three yardsticks I measure an item's throwability:
1. Have I used it in the last 9 months? (9 months because that covers enough seasons for clothing that if it hasn't been worn it ain't gonna be)
2. Will it cost less than $20 to replace IF I make the ungodly mistake of throwing it out and then ABSOLUTELY NEEDING IT.
3. Is it plastic? Or Stuffed?

What, you may ask, will be top priority to toss soon?
My clothes -- there aren't a lot, I've been pretty ruthless, but there are enough that another bag can be made and I won't miss them.

My papers/books. I can't toss them, but I can do a better job of organizing them and keeping them that way.

Her clothes--the kid has more pajamas and t-shirts and jeans (that she won't wear by the way) then any one child needs. I'm pairing her down to 10 T shirts, 5 long sleeve shirts and thats it.


Good luck!

[woldkill.livejournal.com]

By all means, include a wish list. Donations are fine but may not go over well for the little gift receiver or gift giver. I second to include requests for consumable gifts like art suppliers. Also, once pared down, determine if there are items that you wish to expand (ie we will always gratefully accept matchbox cars and tree house items b/c we have a storage system and they are well used). I encourage homemade gifts from the little gift givers. And music/books are encouraged here. IF they do not make our cut they are less space-consuming and easy to donate or toss.

IF YOU CAN, if a present comes in that you know you do not want to keep, set it aside to re-gift or freecycle or donate. Even if they open it it still can be donated or freecycled.

I think most of us with the kids would encourage a wish list.

On the otherhand, you still have your mother's buying to deal with...

[louiseroho.livejournal.com]

You have my full sympathy, but according to Ms Manners you cannot tell people what presents they can and cannot give beyond a limit of dietary restrictions or religious ones.

Some suggestions:

Registering at Babies R Us and letting everyone know that what she REALLY needs is on that list.

A week after a present barrage have Gwen help you generate a donation run. I make Will go through his toys and figure out which ones he's out grown and then take him along when I donate them.

[zinzinzinnia.livejournal.com]

If we're going by Miss Manners, it's just as presumptuous to include registry information on an invitation as it is to indicate "no gifts".

But are we really referring to Miss Manners for a 5-year-old's kiddie jamboree? And further, given the prevalence of registries, wishlists, and "donation in lieu of gift" trends in contemporary society (the last a nice recognition of how landmark occasions should really be more about the event than the materialism), is her dictum realistic anymore?

It basically boils down to these choices:

* Offend Miss Manners and tell people you don't want gifts, and just lump the fact that certain people will probably ignore that wish.

* Offend Miss Manners even more by telling people what kinds of gifts are preferable, whether through a registry or a gentle suggestion in the invite. You'll probably still get things you don't want, and then you can decide what to do with those things.

* Lump all the gift-giving altogether and then return/donate anything redundant/unnecessary, whether it's a gift or existing possession.

Actually, it really boils down to this, overall:

Purge.

[zinzinzinnia.livejournal.com]

Someone who shares your dilemma (albeit for a different reason) and suggestions made in response:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/archive/index.php/t-3166.html

[yaz327.livejournal.com]

I think you should not hesitate to tell your good friends outright what to get for the kids (or what *not* to get). We are not easily offended, though we sometimes just don't listen (it does feel odd to be giving gifts to H's school pals whom we hardly know at their parties and not to the children of our closest friends, even if it makes complete sense to ungift... too many of us have learned to express love with stuff and not actions, and it's a hard cycle to break).

Our family was really good about talking to me in advance about what we wanted for the girls, and most of what we received was appropriate, desired, and fun for both kids. I was the idiot who snuck the 3-foot-tall unicorn into the house (restrictions don't apply to parents, do they?). Informal conversations with guests as they RSVP may be more successful than a generic note.

I second the ideas of requesting consumable gifts and/or unwrapping, but not opening gifts to be earmarked as donations.

You could also consider asking people to bring gifts with the theme of the party in mind. If you want dress-up clothes, make it a dress-up party and ask only for contributions to G's dress-up trunk, no matter how small.